and I still haven't managed to increase my updates. Then again it seems that I am not the only one in my corner of Xanga that is blogging less frequently these days. My excuse is Facebook - what's yours?! I do know that many of the people I have read on here for years now are on Facebook and it is great that I can still share part of their lives on there but it don't you think it is a shame that we aren't on here a bit more often?

It's been a busy few weeks here in Belfast; Patrick and I have been to see various theatre pieces that friends here are involved in and Patrick himself had a show on during the Belfast Children's Festival. Belfast seems to be the city of festivals - there is always something going on and it is so accessible. I worked again on the Film Festival and the Cathedral Arts Festival and got to see some interesting shows and films. That aside work has kept me busy the last few weeks, the college I teach some classes at has been preparing for the exam season and I had quite a few students suddenly panicking that they weren't ready. I despair of some of them - I spend a teaching year with them, slowly nudging them forward towards the exam goal at the end of it all and then in the weeks before they are due to take the exam they start to take the whole thing seriously and then the fear sets in!! I have done the best I can though and as I write this the exams and the teaching year is over. I have been offered summer school teaching which is great but I won't know if I'll be offered any classes to work with in the new teaching year for a while yet.

It was my birthday last Sunday. A nice day all in all. I invited lots of people and spent three days cooking and baking for them. Most of them are really Patrick's friends but they like me and I like them so much fun was had. My birthday will probably always be connected with my memory of Desmond's final month and the sadness of that time but of course there were many happy birthdays before that and when Patrick 'proposed' to me on my birthday two years back he helped add happy memories to the bank of birthday reminiscences. It's Patrick's birthday next month and I have to think of something nice for him.  

Fintan continues to do well on his medication. We have carried on taking him out on his normal walks and playing with him much as before. He seems happy and is of course blissfully unaware of his condition. Hopefully it will stay that way for a while longer.

It really HAS been quite a while since I wrote anything here! I have no major excuse for not doing so - some distractors but really it's just been life and how I've been copin with it that has slowed me down. I have been able to read other people's blogs through the magic of my mobile but not always to comment.

The big news has been that Fintan has been diagnosed with TWO serious heart conditions and a few weeks back we got the news that he had probably only months to live. Both Patrick and I were distraught and a lot of tears were shed. Fintan has been my companion for many years now and he has helped me get through some difficult times - most noteably the death of Desmond; if it weren't for the fact that I was responsible for feeding and exercising Fintan I might have just taken to my bed and stayed there.

So many friends, through Facebook especially, expressed their concern for Fintan - to meet him is to love him, let me assure you of that! After two weeks on the medication the vet gave him I took Fintan back and he did some tests. The good news is that it seems the tachycardia (sp?) is responding well to medication and his heart is beating normally. This was a relief as there was a chance that 'sudden death' might occur if it stayed as crazy as it was. During the two weeks from diagnosis to check-up we had to only take Fintan very short walks to do his 'business' and then back home to rest. Good advice but how do you persuade a headstrong English Bull Terrier that a 5 minute walk is as good as a one hour romp in the park?!

So, we are taking it a day at a time with Fintan and looking after him, giving him lots of love and allowing him to live his life without too many restrictions - better for him to have six months of chasing cats and digging up daffodils than a year wrapped up in cotton wool.

Here's to Fintan - my Gladiator/Clown!

I had one of those weekends here in Belfast that remind me how good my decision was to leave my life in Birmingham behind and embrace this new and more social life.

As I said in my last blog I successfully passed my Swedish Massage exam on Friday. I was told by the examiner that I was, " clearly an excellent therapist", "showed an excellent technique", had "an impressive portfolio" etc, etc. I tell you this mainly because I felt it was a vindication of my total approach to the course. I'm not sure if I said it before but all the other candidates were from a sports background and I always felt they had a rather one dimensional and simplistic approach to the massage. They clearly thought I was a bit of a nut with my mention of things like 'auras' and 'chakras'. I always saw the massage as being not just a way to treat a sore muscle but as method to improve the health of the whole of the physical body, the mind and 'soul' if you like. I know from the feedback that the external examiner agrees with my approach and now I have only to convince the citizens of Belfast!

Saturday I met up with Eileen and Clare and their lovely baby Fionn (pron. Finn). I met Clare and Eileen in Austria last year when Patrick and I decided to have a holiday that was out of our usual comfort zone. Clare was pregnant then and we followed the pregnancy on Facebook up to and past the birth. They live in Manchester but Eileen is from Belfast so they pop back from time to time. We met in St George's Market - where I get my lovely fresh fish and fancy sausages on Saturday mornings and bumped into another lesbian couple who are considering parenting so I was sort of sidelined for a bit while they had a chat about A.I. and stuff like that! Once that was over it was back to the business of catching up and it was so lovely to see their child for the first time; sleeping like the little angel he undoubtably is!!

After spending the morning with them I walked into Belfast proper and had a wander round before meeting another friend for a lovely lunch and another catch up. Patrick was still working and so it was lovely to just hang out with friends, friends that I would not have made had I not moved to Belfast.

Sunday was the Holi festival in Belfast - that's the Indian festival where everone gets covered in brightly coloured powder paint! It was a wonderful afternoon listening to Bangra music, eating Indian snacks and watching the madness of the paint throwing - I didn't get involved in that! Afterwards a few of us went to the Black Box to see the Sunday Service speech that this week was the River Of Blood speech by Enoch Powell - talk about a contrast! If you don't know the speech or Enoch Powell for that matter you can google it of course but very briefly he was a Conservative MP for an area of England close to where I lived and in 1968 he gave a speech in which he suggested that immigration to the UK had to stop as in the near future the country would be over run and that the exisiting culture of 'Englishness'  and 'Britishness' would become so diluted as to become meaningless. The speech was presented by one of the lesbians I bumped into the day before, she is an American woman and so it made the speech all the more interesting to hear it performed by  someone so different from the original orator.

The speech went down well - whatever people's opinions on the content were it was generally agreed that the idea behind the speeches is an interesting and challenging one. The Sunday Service is one of the many projects that Patrick is working on so of course I am biased!

A great weekend all in all!

and I don't get on here to blog about it! It's just insanely busy, Patrick is working seven days a week on three or four different projects and I'm running the business, teaching at the college and learning a new therapy to offer clients - Swedish massage. Speaking of which I actually had the exam today and passed with flying colours, so I am now a massage therapist.

I am happy to report that my nephew is out of hospital and recovering at home from the brain injury caused by the abscesses that decided to take up residence there and almost kill him. I'm thrilled that he is out of danger and on the long road to recovery, but his illness and the subsequent stresses around it have driven a bit of a wedge between my sister and I - despite my ongoing generosities towards her and her brood. I'm okay about this - I left home when I was 17 and never really intended to have much more to do with my family after that but then I went back to Birmingham in my early thirties and stayed way too long! I don't need to vent here, or anywhere for that matter. Suffice it to say that the whole thing has reminded me that I cannot count on my siblings and I think I will mostly just leave them to get on with their lives.

I've been worrying a bit recently about Fintan my doggie, he's ok, he's not sickening with anything but I am starting to realise that he is not the youthful pup he used to be and from time to time I get a bit upset thinking of the fact that one day he won;t be with me. Still, we have hopefully plenty of time left together and I will be taking him out on lovely walks in the local park for as long as I can - hopefully many, many more years!

I guess I should be pleased that there is just nothing that I feel motivate to blog about at the moment. There is 'stuff' going on of course - my nephew is still in hospital, but is getting better; I'm still working towards getting my Swedish massage certification; Patrick is about to start working on another production; I'm teaching more classes for the college here, etc.

It's just that when I sit down to try and write something, nothing comes! I think the temptation to turn to my blog to talk about the big things and trumpet small triumphs and petty annoyances on Facebook is too strong - damn you Facebook!

We had a lovely holiday, the weather was more or less glorious - though we did have some rain and strong winds but thankfully, mostly at night. Patrick and I had a week to ourselves before my ex joined us for the Christmas week and the three of us had some nice times seeing bits of the island that we love so much. My ex had real problems getting there from Manchester due to the beginning of the appalling weather we are still suffering. He was delayed by 16 hours getting there and a good few hours coming back!

We all flew back to our airports on the same day and it was the worst weather to be going home in - brilliant blue, cloudless skies and a hot sun. It was quite a different matter when we arrived in Gatwick and then changed planes to get to Belfast! Sooooooooooo cold! We jumped into a taxi, ordered some takeaway to be delivered, turned on the heating and tried not to think about the fact that inside the house with the heating on and a coal fire going we were wearing more clothes than we were at the same time the night before whilst sitting out on a terrace enjoying a drink.

New Year came and went without a fanfare for us, both P and me don't bother too much with NY celebrations - in the past I've even gone to bed before midnight. For me it wasn't until the Monday after NY that I finally began to get back into the groove. The college started back and suddenly, or so it felt, I was back to planning lessons and organising testing and placement of new students. The weather continued to be awful and many teachers phoned in sick - this was good for me as I got lots of cover (very important when you consider that holiday is unpaid and I'd been away from work for about three weeks). I've had a cold since I got off the plane but I just ignored it and worked through it.

So another year and my second in Belfast. I don't make resolutions as such - I don't believe in setting myself up for failure! I do plan to finish the Swedish Massage course very soon and then take on few more courses and then of course there is my secret too! I am still unable to say anything but I will let you know as soon as I can.

People who follow me on Facebook (Birmingham Bear on there!) will know that my poor sister who has had so much to put up with recently due to the rape trial now has the trauma of her son in hospital with recurring brain abscesses. He almost died but thankfully he is making some real improvements and will be leaving the critical care ward soon and going into rehabilitation - he needs to learn to speak and read again amongst many things. I pray that things will get better soon.

So, I think it is now time to start planning the next trip!

so it must be Gran canaria! I know that I come here every year around this time but it shouldn't make you think I am boring - I just like it here. Gran Canaria has become a sort of touchstone for me and if you look over the last few years some pretty amazing things, some good - some bad, have happened to me and around me whilst here or shortly before coming here.

When my dad almost died here in 2005 it was only the natural beauty of the island that kept me going as we fought the insurance company and negotiated with the hospital... being able to walk up into the mountains and just sit on a rock for half an hour and have a good cry before coming down to be strong for mom was so important for my mental health back then.

Of course seven months later Desmond had died and the holiday to GC in December was something I could not hveimagined taking back then, but it was booked and I went and again the natural beauty of the island helped to heal me and showed me what the way forward was. My 2006 'epiphany on the dune' led me into alternative therapies, healing with energy, feeding people with simple food and love etc. It enabled me to see that I could be loved - that there was something in me worth loving. 

In 2007 I came back here with a load of friends and some family and had  great time, though knowing that one person who should have been there - Patrick wasn't. This was rectified of course in 2008 by which time I had not only become engaged but had successfully given up a job I wasn't enjoying and had taken the big decision to sell mine and Desmond's house and head off to Belfast.

Yes, Gran Canaria is indeed a touchstone for me. It's less about the nightlife and more about the landscape and the memory of the people I have shared it with these last ten years or so.  

One of the main benefits of doing a Swedish massage course I have discovered is that you get to be massaged several times a day by different people! I'm really enjoying the course and I really had to do it as a week long intensive but there is a lot of writing to do to prove I am worthy of the certificate so every night this week I have sat down once back from massage school, my teaching and/or therapy work and write an essay that on previous courses I would have the luxury of a month to prepare and produce. I'm suprising myself in that I am actually doing the assignments one by one and it looks like they'll all be ready by Friday. Suprised because I am notoriously lazy at getting my homework done. I just want it out of the way before the holiday and even though the tutor has told me that I can hand all the assignments in next year along with the 25 case studies I have to do I just want the satisfaction of knowing that for once I was organised enough to get them done.

We had such a good Saturday in London! After wandering all around the South Bank we had a coffee in the foyer of the National Film Theatre looking out over the book stalls and at the skyline of Westminster then we headed off to the National Theatre to see the play we travelled so (relatively) far to see.

The Habit of Art was brilliant and has seemed to coincide with a bit of an Alan Bennett season on the BBC - which is great! The premise of the play is a fictional meeting between the composer Benjamin Britten and the author W. H. Auden in England. What could have been nothing more than a well written play performed by two actors turned into something spectacular by moving the main action into a dress rehearsal for said play, allowing the actors to step out of their roles and questions, comment, gossip and disagree with each other, the material and even the props! I'm clearly no critic so I found this review which I am more or less in agreement with.

After the play we went back to the hotel to relax for a few hours - it seemed a shame to leave the room as we really had fallen on our feet getting such a great room in a four star hotel for a reasonable price - but we were been taken out to dinner by a friend and it would be rude to refuse both food and the company! We went to a great Argentinian restaurant in an area of London called Blackheath which was one of my old stomping grounds back in the day. It was lovely being there again, the food was good and the company turned out to be even better than expected as my friend's twin sister turned up too.

I could go on an on about London but suffice it to say that we really had a great time and although I really don't think I'd want to live there again it was so nice to spend some quality time with some friends and see some of the places I wasted many an hour in.

It's been back to a break-neck pace since we got back though. Patrick has been to Denmark to do some illustrating work and I have been teaching and 'therapy-ing' like a wild thing! I have taken this week off to do something I've been planning to do for a while now and that is a Swedish massage course. I enrolled in a college overe here in Belfast a few weeks back and I started Monday. I love studying new things and this has been a great week so far. I can see how I am going to incorporate this new skill into my business and am getting expressions of interest from potential clients already. It's going to be a busy week as I am still teaching in the evening for the college and on top of that I am trying to squeeze in some therapy clients when I can.

Did I tell you that I like being busy??!

It's ok though as on Sunday Patrick and I get on another plane to London to catch another flight the following day for two weeks in Gran Canaria!

We had a great weekend in London, it was a very social weekend meeting up with some old friends and meeting some new ones - I was also partly responsible for a proposal of Civil Parnership! I lived in London for ten years, most of which was in my twenties and they were great years but I am glad I don't live there now. This trip was the first one back where I didn't stay in a mate's house but in a Central London hotel and it made such a big difference. We got a great deal on a 4 star hotel opposite the Houses Of Parliament and the river Thames and everything was within walking distance - such a treat as using the public transport system can be grim!

We saw many sights that were new to Patrick and some to me too. The best thing of all was just being able to wander along the Embankment from Westminster to the South Bank and just be part of the tourist throng. When I lived in London I often used to go down to the Royal Festival Hall and the  National Fim Theatre - less to see performances and more to just drink in the atmosphere and have a coffee perhaps. The Royal Festival Hall and associated buildings were constructed post-war and were the centrepiece of the Festival Of Britain - a display of all that was good in the 1950s and more importantly perhaps, an indicator that the times of post-war austerity were at an end. I love the spirit of optimism that still pervades the Hall and it remains a bastion of 'Culture', it is an enduring favourite with Middle Class intellectualism - something which is often looked upon distainfully these days in the pursuit of the 'yoof' market and the culture of the low-brow and the crass.

I'll add more later - got to rush off to teach!