I am thrilled to report that my plucky little (!) Doblo is still going.  I brought it to the Fiat Dealership as I planned and they did some tests and it wasn't quite as serious as the other garage had thought. I had to pay almost £300 but it will hopefully keep it running for a while yet. I'm really pleased as I do really like the Doblo - the size of the vehicle and the height you sit in it make me feel a bit more confident when out and about.

The best thing was that it was sorted in time for the visit of Conor for Easter. We drove all over the place and I even drove on the motorway for the first time!! The best drive was out to the Giant's Causeway via the coastal route. I'll have to try and upload some photos but if you have time google the route and you'll see some spectaular views as the road has the sea on one side and amazing hills and mountains on the other.

We took Conor to many other places I've driven us to over the past few weeks including Divis Mountain and Belvoir Forest - all different but having one thing in common; the opportunity to experience stillness not far from the city and that's got to be a good thing.

In the last blog I spoke about how much I was enjoying driving us out of the city for trips and sightseeing. Well I spoke too soon! a week or so ago I was driving back from the gym and slowed to turn into the street and the power just went from the car.  I was on my own and had to get passers by to help me push the car out of the way - not easy when you consider that it is, in effec,t a van more than a car. It happened again and again over the next few days and I dropped it in at my garage - he suggested I consider buying a new car as this one will cost so much to repair that it probably just isn't worth it. I'm sad of course - it is my first car after all but in the end I have to either not have a car or have one I can reply upon. I'm taking it over to the Fiat dealership to get a second opinion but I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll be looking for a new car - and soon!

That aside life goes on as before. Teaching at the college is getting even more interesting as we approach the exam season and I'm reasonably confident that my students will do well this year. I'm also happy that I will be getting summer school work from them again this year, though whether or not there will be any classes for me in the new teaching year in September 2011 is another thing.

Fintan continues to surprise everyone with how bouncy and full of life he is - we have long walks in the park and he is happy to dander alongside me stopping to pee on daffodils and say hello to passing doggies.

Easter is coming fast now and we have at least one house guest to look forward to over the season, my ex Conor. He and Patrick get on well - too well some would say as they tend to enjoy winding me up when they can. Hopefully I will have some kind of transport so I can take Conor out of Belfast to show him some of the beautiful places in Northern Ireland.

As the URL for Xanga is about to slip off the bottom of the address bar I thought it wise to update now rather than in two months time!

What to say though?! I'm so boring these days and do so little of interest to myself least of all others. I am glad in a way that almost everyone I used to read and who read me has drifted away so that I can be left alone to bumble on about my simple life. I guess I should be happy that there is so little drama in my life and of course, in a very real way, I am. It would however be nice to have something to put up on Xanga that I can look back on in a few years time and know exactly what was going on right now.

then again... you should never wish for things that you just might get!

Well, yesterday was lovely. Patrick, Fintan and I set out on Sunday morning, having had a shorter than usual walk around the park, and we headed Northwards and through the City of Belfast still asleep and recovering no doubt from the Saturday night before and we went up the Shankhill Road (SCARY!) and with no particular destination in mind we found ourselves climbing up into the high hills and out of Belfast. The view is breathtaking - although as the driver (and a scared one at that) I could only glance very quickly as I ensured we stayed on the road and not hurtling to our deaths.

We had quite a long drive from there and ended up in a small town called Crumlin and from there went for a lovely walk into and along the Crumlin Glen. Having the car - as I'm no doubt saying all the time, has been wonderful and with the weather slowly improving I am happy to see we are all able to get out and about and see more of this wonderful country.

Pictures to follow soon I hope.

I want to write a proper blog but it's getting late and so I will just jot down some bits and pieces for now and hope to come back soon!

I'm pleased to say that my aunt had her mastectomy and at the moment seems to be fine. She has never been the kind of person that appears to let things get to her, she seems to glide through life not letting problems get to close to her. That said I can only go by the face she presents to the world, I do hope it is true though as she hasn't had an easy life so far and I'd like to think that she has coping mechanisms. She will have to have chemotherapy now and again I'm hoping that it doesn't make her too sick; she lives with my parents and as stated in an earlier blog all three of them moved to Wales a while back to have an easier life away from the stresses and strains of life in a city like Birmingham. Keep her in your thoughts if you will.

I am still not smoking! I have downloaded an app to my phone which calculates on a daily basis how much money I have saved and so far it is about £230! I stopped mostly for economic reasons and so it is good to see just how much I am saving by resisting the allure of nicotine! Going to the gym regularly helps, I am not sleeping very well and now when I wake at 6am I get up and head to the gym instead of trying to go back to sleep, or even worse, head downstairs to smoke whilst watching terrible TV programmes!

Talking of TV... two weeks ago Patrick and I decided, finally, to give up TV. It has been very liberating - and a money-saver too! I find that I am reading more, listening to great radio programmes again and also doing more about the house and outside it. I did watch a LOT of TV - sometimes more than 12 hours a day. Years ago when I lived in London I didn't have a television for many years and never missed it and now of course with the option to watch some TV online I have the luxury of picking and choosing when and if I want to watch something rather than sitting in front of it absorbing anything and everything that is on it. If nothing else the freedom from TV advertising is amazing, I firmly believe that the persuasive effect of television eventually affects us all and contributes to negative feelings of dissatisfaction for our lot in life. I DO believe that if you are unhappy about something you should change it but I worry that advertising suggests that the only way you can change your life and the only way to improve it is to keep buying stuff! I have rejected that a long time ago and so getting rid of the TV was the correct thing to do - wish I'd done it a long time ago!

Finally, driving continues to be the biggest and most exciting adventure! The last few weeks Patrick, Fintan and me have packed some food and water and jumped into the car on Sunday morning and driven out to see some of the sights of Northern Ireland. It's been very liberating to just head off to wherever we fancy and to have the luxury of being able to change our minds if we like and go somewhere else instead. I'm hoping for a summer of decent weather so we can get away for long weekends in the car - I'm going to start shopping for a tent soon, SUCH FUN!!!

I don't know if I mentioned it but I recently lost 50% of my classes at Belfast Metropolitan College - they were given to a full time member of staff to make up their hours! I was upset at first as I had spent quite a lot of time working with the group and leading them forwards towards the exam they will do in June, but there was no point kicking up a stink about it as at the end of the day I am a part time tutor on a temporary contract and there's nothing to stop them from dropping me in future years. The college is having problems with funding as are most of us in these days of cutbacks and depression and so I accepted my fate with as much grace as I could muster.

The problem is though that the money I made from my teaching contracts paid my half of the rent etc and this sudden drop was cause for real concern. Or at least it was until I realised that the money I spent on cigarettes was roughly equivilant to the wages lost. It didn't take nme very long to come to the conclusion that it really is time to stop, and stop I have! It's been two weeks so far and I have saved so much money! I have also had a chest infection, sore throat and my sinuses have been running like mad - so not so healthy a start huh?!  I have also started going back to the gym after the break for my holiday and then the ill health upon my return - it's great!

Sadly I have to record that my beloved Aunt has gone into hospital in Aberystwyth this week for a mastectomy. As I write this she has had the operation and appears to be doing okay. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it hasn't spread.

My life in Belfast continues to (mostly) delight and I am confirmed in my belief that moving away from Birmingham was the right thing to do. I've had another busy week with teaching English at the college to my Proficiency class, though to be honest I feel they know more about English than I ever will! I love the time we spend together as they are a great bunch of students with a variety of interests and backgrounds yet they all seem to get on with each other and me. We are at a crucial point in the teaching year now as we are becoming even more focused on the exam they will sit in June. The Cambridge Proficiency exam is the highest level exam that students can take as second language speakers and they need it to enter some professions and further study at British universities and although all exams are important to those that are taking them I can't help feeling that this is perhaps the most important one. I am very organised though and I'm moving all of them in the right direction and making sure that they are getting the practice that they need each time we meet. I'm hopeful that come June I will not be seeing any of them coming back to re-take the course!

This weekend was nice. Friday we went to see a play at the Waterfront Hall 'Shoot The Crow' which was very good, though the language was very 'earthy' but given the fact that the four actors were playing tilers working on a building site it didn't seem wrong that they should be swearing so much. It was a preview night and so the great and good of the Belfast Arts scene were there and it was nice to see a few people I knew and hadn't seen this year due partly to my being so ill but mostly because the theatre scene seems to slow to a hibernation pace in the mid winter.

Today Patrick and I went out for Brunch and then to the cinema for an early showing of Never Let Me Go which was astoundingly and heartbreakingly beautiful. I have been telling everyone to see it as it is such a good film! The subject matter of human clones produced just for spare parts and how we should treat them and how they should be expected to cope with this knowledge was handled extremely well by what is basically still a very yound cast. Charlotte Rampling was in it too and is aging wonderfully but sadly she didn't have much to do as in the end the film is about the three cloned children/young adults at the centre of the film.

Following that I drove us to Clement's in the Botanic district of the city for a coffee and then home to pick up Fintan for a long walk in The Ormeau Park before heading back home to prepare for a nice evening in.

Not a bad life at all.  

Liver is something that you either love or hate. When I was a child my mother tried to make me eat it and I refused point blank, I was a very fussy eater and the idea of eating ANYHTHING from the inside of an animal was revolting! It was only in my early twenties that I began to be a bit adventurous with my diet and I began cooking for myself and others. Now I eat more or less anything - I'll certainly try anything once - and my skill at cooking, such as it is, ensures that I can figure out what to do with more or less anything for sale in the shop - especially if it is in the reduced to clear section (my favourite part of any supermarket!)

Today they were selling New Zealand lamb's liver for 75p - enough to feed a family - but I now live in a family of fussy eaters and I know that I am on to a losing game trying to persuade Patrick to eat any and so I purchased it, fried it up and Fintan and I will share it tonight!

Liver will always remind me of Desmond as he was the last person I regularly cooked it for. He loved liver and onions so much that even in the poshest restaurants and even if someone else was paying that would be the dish he'd order! It is thought of as an Austerity dish and I guess that with the way things are going it will become more popular again. I'm not sure I'm ready to eat heart or brains as the French are wont to do but I do love a bit of tongue and so come the collapse of the economy I should at least be well fed!

...all in all anyway!

I've blogged before about the market I go to most Saturday mornings - St George's - it's a lovely mix of food and arts / crafts and although at the moment it is quite chilly in there it's a place that I like to start the weekend off in. I went on Saturday and met Janice there. Janice is a friend of mine, as much as any friend of Patrick's can be mine, she's quite an inspiring young woman. She is one of those people who spend less time complaining about how things are and more time making life more interesting for herself and anyone else who wants to tag along. She reminds me that when I'm feeling bored and low that there are things to do and places to go and that a simple pleasure such as reading a book in a coffee shop is not something to be overlooked.

We had a nice couple of hours eating brunch (though I actually had a vegetable curry - at 11am!!) and then buying some bits and pieces of food for during the week. I swear that even though it is a Saturday morning they always seem to have the freshest fish! I resisted (mostly) the temptations of the various bakery stalls but did buy some steak sausages from a local butcher who has a stall there and knows me well by now.

I then had to drive home (hear me! Drive home!!) because I had a couple coming round for some therapy treatments. They are a gay couple that again I know through Patrick although both of us have only met one half of the couple once before as they have been together for only about a year. Trevor, the one we now the longest, was a house mate of Patrick's and he's a lovely chap; he's mid twenties and from Dublin, he's a leading light in the Gay friendly Belfast rugby squad and so is built like the proverbial shit house but at the same time one of the gentlest souls you could ever meet. He was having a massage and Neal, his partner wanted Ear Candles and Indian Head Massage. It was such a pleasure to work with them as I've not done any treatments with them before and Neal especially was an interesting client as he is exploring Mediumship and Angel therapies. We connected very much during the treatments and for the first time in ages I truly felt I was working 'in spirit' rather than just on the physical level. They both enjoyed their treatments and hopefully I will get to work with them again as they have told me to come along to a Spiritualist 'church' that Neal attends called The Sanctuary. Now, I'm not a believer in Spiritualism and Mediums myself but I know they do a lot of good things there besides that so I may well give them a try to see if there is any way we can work together.

After they left Patrick and I took Fintan out for a decent walk then back home to get some food ready for dinner. I'd asked Janice if she fancied coming over and watching a film or two and breaking bread with us and happily she said yes. It was a nice night, a roaring coal fire to keep all four of us warm and nice food and company - can't be much better than that I think.

Sunday (today) was much less active though I drove Patrick and me into North Belfast from our home in the East because I have to drive there on Tuesday night to see a client and I'm not too confident driving in the dark to places I don't know. North Belfast is a confusing mix of Protestant and Catholic streets and as Belfast is a small city it might surprise you to see how closely these often antagonistic groups live to each other. I am pleased that life here is more or less 'normal' these days but there are often not so little reminders that things aren't completely sorted out yet - as if they could be! On the way home we had brunch at 'The Mad Hatter'  and then off to the supermarket to do boring stuff like buying food!

Still, it's often the 'boring' stuff that matters most and I guess that if I didn't have food on my table I'd be quick to complain!

Have a good week. x

Has it really been THAT long since I was last here???!!!! I knew it was a while but I was shocked to see it was September since I last updated my blog - CURSE YOU FACEBOOK!! I haven't been getting the digest emails either so assumed that everyone I read had also stopped posting and it's clear that many of my Xanga pals have also stopped posting which is very sad. Some of you are still here though so that's good.

Well, what have I been up to then?

In October I was mostly getting to grips with the two new classes that the college gave me; Cambridge Proficiency and Advanced. The Proficiency students are wonderful and I'm really enjoying teaching them but the Advanced students haven't been so great - one student in particular has been, well... a bitch! I've hated going into the classroom to see her there but just a couple of days that stress was lifted from me and replaced with the stress of having the class taken from me and given to another teacher. Not because I'm a bad teacher but because other classes have failed to start and they have taken successful classes from part time hourly paid tutors like me and given them to the full time staff. Not good but there's nothing to be done about it so no point stressing - I realised that if I stop smoking and cancel my Love Film subscription I can make up the lost money that way.

November and December? Hmm... the only thing that really sticks in my memory was the struggle to find someone to care for Fintan while Patrick and I went to Gran Canaria  for a week over Xmas. Even up to a week before we flew out it wasn't for certain that we'd get anyone to do it and besides the weather was appalling and there was a very real chance that we'd not get a flight out. In the end we did and it was a nice week - much less alcoholic than previous years (neither a good nor a bad thing) but still plenty of fun was had.

Driving continues to be a delight! It was so difficult keeping it a secret but I'm so glad I did. I have had problems with my lovely Doblo; I have another slow puncture at the moment but it is great being able to drive to the park with Fintan in the back and spend more time enjoying the park than walking there and back as an hour in the beautiful Ormeau Park is better than 30 mins there plus 15 mins walk there then back. I could say that I wish I'd learned to drive years ago but to be honest now is the right time for me to be a driver.

Fintan is in decent health at the moment, he's still taking the tablets and he is generally speaking as sprightly as he's always been. I'm happy that he is still able to enjoy his walks and our play, he's been such a support for me over the changes of the last four years or so and I am determined to make sure he has as happy and as long a life as possible. Tonight he had a huge portion of roast pork for his dinner while P and I dined on vegetable chilli!

I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY going to try and start posting here again. The only reason I started blogging was because I wanted something I could look back on in the future and know what I was feeling and doing at any point in the past, and so the fact that very few people who read me and who I read are posting shouldn't put me off.

Well, that's the theory anyway... let's just wait and see!

I can finally reveal my secret - I was learning to drive! I passed my test just two weeks ago on my third attempt.

I started out just having a few lessons with the instructor that saw Patrick for a few lessons before he decided that it wasn't for him. I realised very quickly that even though it was scary it was wonderful and that if I could pass it would really open things up. It took me quite a while to learn, it wasn't that I was a bad student just that some things take me longer to learn these days. I honestly believe I was driving better than the average licensed driver out on the road with me but you have to drive at a much higher level of expertise to pass the test. I don't know how the test is elsewhere but in the UK it is VERY difficult!

So, I passed and I had the pleasure of seeing the look on Patrick's face when I broke the news to him! I drove Fintan and myself to the Ormeau Park to meet him off the bus and to have a walk together. A friend of ours, Claire, also turned up in her car, she knew all along what I was up to, when we left the park we walk to her car but I stopped and said something like, "oh dear! Fintan's paws are all muddy (they weren't)", Claire responded with, "he can't get into my car like that!", Patrick said, "we'll walk home then." This was my cue to say, "No, we can go back home on our car." ... confusion, panic even annoyance registered on Patrick's face - he certainly wouldn't believe me - even when I opened the car door! The penny dropped once we were on our way home though.